Seems kind of weird I know but I always remember dates.
I cant believe it’s been two years!!!
August 13, 2016 was one of the books. A day I’ll always remember, a day I choose not to forget.
Sometimes one has to lose everything to gain everything.
Its hard to trust God is working things out for your good when everything seems to be falling apart.
I felt like I had lost everything. I was falling apart. I was weary. I was depressed, I was tired and I was definitely overwhelmed with life as it was. My life had been totally turned upside down. I didn’t want to languish in a life of despair but here I was. Languishing…
I had no place to call home. I was staying in 4 different friends guest bedrooms and living out a suitcase for nearly 4 months by this point. All of my belongings were stored in a U Haul storage unit. A 10’x 10′ climate controlled “caged’ unit no less. Yes, I said caged. We checked other U Hauls but supposedly it was all they had left .It so happened to be somewhere off the beaten path.
Now I know why…
I had decided I wouldn’t go back there until I found a place to live. It was too depressing to see my entire life, at the age of 57, squared away in a 10×10 chain link caged U Haul unit. The image was haunting at the time.
Both my businesses had suffered enormously because, quite honestly, I just couldn’t get my act together and go back to work. Trust me, you wouldn’t have wanted a facial from me during that tenuous time. I didn’t have much to give to anyone lest myself.
However a dear friend encouraged me to get back to work. That it would help me to feel better. Oh and financially ,I really needed to!
She offered to help me freshen up my clinic by giving it a new and updated look. A new beginning so to speak.
She was a designer after all and had helped decorate and choose colors for our new home and knew of the decor that had that ended up in storage. She suggested I go and get a few specific items out of the storage unit to spruce up the clinic. A little paint and new furnishing and I’d be back in business. Let’s go. Let’s do this.
Not so fast…
What happened next was beyond words and totally out of my control. As I entered the storage unit, lights flickering and the smell of mildew and mold lingering in the air, with little to no climate control at that point, I was a bit hesitant to enter. But,enter I did.Thank God my friend Diane was with me that day!!!
Once I reached the unit everything looked intact until I started moving chairs out into the hallway.
Something seemed off .
Thats when I noticed the dark shadow on my antique bed bench that was tucked back in the corner. Anxious to see what it was, I started to climb on top of a table to get a better look. That’s when I saw it.
The leak! Not just a little leak, a big leak. There had been a leak in the roof, hence the smell, the flickering lights and no air conditioning.Did I mention it was the middle of August, in Florida?
At that moment, my adrenaline kicked in! I was in shock. I tried to pull stuff out to access the damage but the lights kept flickering… No way could all my belongings be ruined. No way!!! I had nothing left. Nothing.
Except what was put in my girlfriends storage on the other side of town. Frantically , we started taking everything that we could physically lift out but the lights kept flickering on and off so we made our way out of the storage unit and over to the office.
They were absolutely clueless and might I add, incompetent, offering little to no help. Here’s the number you can call to file a complaint….
That’s when I lost it. I mean really lost it. We’re talking basket case. Bonafide and justified breakdown. I don’t really remember the details following that afternoon but what I do remember was this. I ended up sitting in my counselors office, sobbing and hyperventilating what seemed like forever. She had me “tapping’ and doing all kinds of calming exercises but to no avail. She called in the troops. Actually, she called her Dr. friend, who graciously, took me in immediately.
I’m a pretty organic kind of girl when it comes to what I put in my body but this was way bigger than me. I was shrinking fast. I had a breakdown. This was not easy for me to admit because I’d been through a lot of other traumas and survived but this one did me in. I couldn’t see past the devastation. Three medications later and I was on my way. To nowhere. No home, no family, no belongings, no money, no sleep, no marriage, no hope, no life. I didn’t want to take any medication but by then my anxiety was through the roof, I felt utterly hopeless ,I couldn’t stop crying and the depression was at an all time low.
That was a lot to swallow, so swallow I did. For the next year or so . It took a about a month to come out of that black hole but with the help of my brother and close friends, I began to come back to life. Not the life I had known but a new life. A new beginning.
AND helloooo, new furniture!!!
What had just about broken me ended up being a beautiful gift. Even though I couldn’t see it at the moment and it took awhile to be reimbursed for all the damages by U Haul, God turned that whole traumatic debacle completely around! Completely!
I got to go shopping! I got to pick out all new furniture, beautiful girly furniture,fresh linens, elegant bedding and shabby chic accessories for my brand new apartment! That I didn’t have yet by the way…
Everything was brand spanking new! Even the apartment we found a couple weeks later. That’s what God wanted for me all along!
And my friend helped me turn my clinic into a relaxing and soothing spa . It had a new and refreshed feel too!
A fresh start. He turned my miserable mess into a beautiful message. A message of hope for the displaced , for the hurting and the broken.
Six weeks later, I was completely settled and nestled into my cozy apartment. Sitting on my balcony while rocking in my chair, all the while, overlooking a beautiful lake, I began to cry happy tears !Streams of them ! This little piece of heaven had become my safe place, My refuge or my ‘resort” as many friends lovingly refer to it. The moment you walk in, you feel His presence, you feel at home, you feel at peace, you feel renewed. You feel refreshed. I’ve had the honor to open my “home” to many women who have needed a new outlook, a fresh touch, a renewed vision and hope for their future.
I still cant believe that He uses me and my little place to minister healing and hope to other women but then again, He’s in charge and I’m not.
Every single day, I look around and thank Him for where He has placed me for such a time as this.
What I know is this. God is able to do immeasurably more than we can ask or imagine! (Eyes.3:20)